If you woke up in my bed, tell me then would you hold me

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Posted by: grumpybear Original: 12/15/2008 4:14 PM Views: 71 Comments: 4 eProps: 8 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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2 eProps from: shredder barbaradesmond heartwarmer dreamermpd21

Monday, December 15, 2008

If you woke up in my bed, tell me then would you hold me

This weekend was bittersweet. On Sunday J's parents came down to visit us, and then later in the day I called my Mom. Those two events define the bittersweet. J's parents LOVE our venue, and my Mom couldn't care any less about anything related to our wedding. I'm heartbroken. She doesn't even pretend to care or be interested. I don't know what to do. I'm fairly sure it's because she misses my Dad but I can't understand why she wouldn't even want to talk about it. I'm so upset by the way she's been lately.

Let me explain. J's parents invited us (my Mom & I) to their house for Christmas Day Dinner. I asked my Mom if she'd like to go and she said "You can go, I'll stay home alone". I NEVER gave her the impression that I wasn't spending Christmas Day with her. I said that I'd spend time on Christmas Eve with J's family and then either go to her house later Christmas Eve or go over early Christmas Day. It was like a slap in the face for her to imply that I was leaving her alone. Yes, I'll admit I spend more time with J's family but that's only because we stay with them when we visit and they have family get togethers, my family does not. It's definitely NOT that I enjoy their company more; yes, I do love spending time with them, but not more than my own family.

I guess I just feel like she feels that I don't miss my Dad as much because I haven't put my life on hold. Yes, I went on vacation in July after he passed and YES, I'm getting married next year. We are not planning it for May (so it won't be near the 1 year anniversary of his passing), nor November (the 6 month mark). We're getting married in SEPTEMBER! I don't know what to do, or what to say to her. I want her to be there when I try on dresses, I want her to come see our venue (it's GORGEOUS), I want her to be excited but all I get is sadness. Is this normal? Should I say something or just do it all with J's mom? (I don't want my Mom to blame me for her regretting not doing this stuff with me. I'm not going to force her to do anything, but I REALLY get the vibe she's not interested.)

HELP!!!!

ANYWHOODLE!...

I think I found my wedding shoes... CHECK THEM OUT! :D Our venue is outside (If it rains, I'll stab someone!), so it might be muddy and I'd love to wear boots. I hate heels and they'd probably sink in the ground. I plan to get a floor length dress so you won't really see them, but they are PERFECT. (I'm starting to think I'm the definition of anti-bride! )

I'll take some pictures of some of the things we've gotten worked out (memorial candles, save the dates, thank you cards, etc.) and post them. I'll post all of that stuff here because I don't want everyone to see it yet! I'm getting excited but the above "issue" is kinda making me a Debbie Downer today. I'm being incredibly mean to my coworkers and I'm just not in a pleasant mood.

I'm wishing that Christmas would be over. Monday (the 22nd) is our work Holiday Luncheon (gag). Thankfully, it's during work hours!

I had better run. I have work (YUCK) to get done! :(

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Noel
By Josh Groban
It came upon a midnight clear
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Posted 12/15/2008 4:14 PM - 71 Views - 8 eProps - 4 comments

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4 Comments

My wedding was outside. So I'm going to tell you what I learned about that, the hard way. Don't get married at noon - its hotter than hell and guests will get sun stroke (course I got married in California in July), Yes your heels will definately get stuck in the grass which makes it hard to walk to the alter or whatever, watch out for low flying planes, especially if you are videotaping the ceremony. They are louder than the people speaking and you will get video of everyone looking up at the sky instead of the bride and groom. On the plus side - pictures usually turn out beautiful.

As for you mom, I can only guess that this is very difficult for her. She wants to be participating in this "with" your dad and it is probably breaking her heart that he is not there to see it. My mom went thru a really rough patch for about a year and a 1/2 after my dad died. I was scared to death about her. Its not that she doesn't care, it probably just hurts too much to think or talk about. I know its hard for you too (I was in your shoes) but please try to be patient with her. It will all work out. And don't be too hard on yourself or take things personally, they are not meant that way. Move forward, plan your beautiful wedding and once its over you can relax and enjoy. Weddings are very stressful. And Congrats!!!!!!

Posted 12/15/2008 5:02 PM by shredder - reply

I'm sure it brings up memories of her wedding so she misses him and wishes he was there with her. I hope things get better but that's just going to take time. As for the boots I love them. If Hell ever froze over and I got married I'd be an anti bride too. Hopefully she'll be feeling better when it gets closer to the day.

Posted 12/15/2008 11:44 PM by barbaradesmond

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I am sure your mom misses your dad alot. Just leave her know that you would love for her to share her thoughts and imput in certain areas when you ask for it. Leave her know that you understand her sorrow and that you miss him too but you also want her to be happy for you 'cuz I am sure that is what your dad would want. Please explain to her that if she chooses not to participate that you don't want her to hold that over you for years to come to make you feel guilty about it. I am sure things will work out for you and I am happy that things are progressing. Can't wait to hear and see more details! Love ya girl!

Posted 12/16/2008 3:04 AM by heartwarmer - reply

Love the boots....

The mom issue.......If you can just get her to sit down and talk to her. So you know what her deal is..I'm sure it has a lot to do with your dad. Whos giving you away? Are you going to have her do it or do you have someone else doing it..

My mom was a bitter bitch when i got married.....She had nothing to do with my wedding when it came down to planning, getting my dress anything like that. Jims parents (mom) and aunt helped me with everything. His mom was with me when i got my dress and when i went to show my mom it, her response was oh that's different and i'm like you can't say anything nicer? BUT thats just how she was. They day i got married she was there with me when i got my hair done, and she smiled for the camera and i got a great pic of us. I never did get out of her why she acted how she did. And i was very hurt that she was not involved but i guess i expected it out of her............But i got through and my day turned out just fine.....I hope that your moms comes around for you because it does hurt....But If it is your dad, try not to take it to personal.. But remember it's your day. Lost for any other words that might help at this point....

Look forward to seeing pics....Be excited girl becuase before you know it you will be a Happily Married woman.....And you'll look at everything in a blur cuz time will go fast........

Posted 12/16/2008 3:06 PM by dreamermpd21 - reply